True Lies
by Alien Emerald
Summary: Somewhere inside, I knew. At that moment it didn’t register. At that moment, I knew it wasn’t enough. I loved him. But how can I say that to him now? 3 Chapters about Katniss's return home and her changing relationship with both Peeta and Gale.
1. Coming Home

**True Lies**

**Somewhere inside, I knew. At that moment it didn't register. At that moment, I knew it wasn't enough. I loved him. But how can I say that to him now?**

**XX**

**To my old fans: No, you probably don't know this book, but I suggest you read it. One of the best I've ever read.**

**XX**

**To my (hopefully) new fans: I read the Hunger Games, loved it, and became so addicted I have read it over 3 times. I've written other stories, too, so this is not my first.**

**XX**

**The story line: Basically, I was too curious about Katniss and Peeta's relationship later on (how they suffered and whatnot) to not write about it. So, this story will consist of 3 chapters: Coming home, faking it for the fans, and the end.**

**Coming Home: The reactions of her friends and family, not much Peeta, many cameras, and Gale.**

**Faking it for the Fans: Touring around Panem. Faking it will Peeta. Yata yata.**

**The End: What? You expect me to tell you? Pfft. Tune in, my friends….**

**XX**

_Chapter One, Coming Home_

It took me a minute to register that the screams I heard were not screams of hatred. With the sound level so high, I couldn't tell whether everyone was yelling in fury or joy. Then I saw their faces, bright and smiling, and I knew they couldn't be happier. It made me smile too, because I was the victor. The weeks preparing for the Games seemed years away now. All I could see were the smiling faces of my friends, of my home, and I knew that everything would be different from now on.

So different. So much better.

Peeta squeezed my hand, and it almost felt painful to me. It made my heart pump painfully in my chest like there was something horrible in my blood. The weeks I had spent in the arena could not prepare me for what I had done to Peeta. He had been everything to me the past week. Now he was just a boy who I had to pretend to be madly in love with.

The difference was staggering, but I couldn't let that show.

Right now I was playing my part perfectly. I was clinging to Peeta like he was my last hope, and he was doing the same to me. The act felt uncomfortable, but I knew it would be over soon. We walked down the platform of the train, waving gleefully to the crowd, and even though the guards were holding the crowd back I could still feel the pull of their needy hands.

I wanted to let go of Peeta, to go see my family, but I knew that might not be possible at this point. We're still in the Games, and this moment of emotion is more vital than ever. If we want to live, I have to act harder. Haymitch comes up behind us, smiling proudly, and whispers in both our ears so quietly I have to ask him to repeat it.

"I said, I know you two are itching to go see your families, but hang on a few minutes while they get a few good shots of you two standing together. After that, the cameras will be shut down for the most part, and you two can be free for a while."

We both nod and cling to each other tighter, smiling at one another at random moments in hopes that the cameras capture it. I search the crowd eagerly for my mother and Prim, and finally I spot them towards the front. Both of them are waving with tears in their eyes, and I am overwhelmed by a sense of joy to see that they are still well and happy. I almost break down right there, seeing them like that, but I hold myself together and pretend to whisper something to Peeta. I have just turned back to the crowd when I see him.

Gale is smiling at me, but I can see the hurt in his eyes. Suddenly, the arm around my waist not only feels alien but completely unwelcome. I want to be in Gale's arms. I want _him _to be the one holding me, not Peeta. It's all I can do to keep from running towards Gale and flinging myself into his arms.

Haymitch begins to whisper again, and this time my heart is pumping painfully fast. "Ok, you can go now, but I don't want you to jump away from each other immediately. Play it out."

I turn to Peeta with real tears in my eyes, but not because of him. Because of Prim. Because of Gale. Because I know this is wrong, and kissing him goodbye feels so wicked I feel the tears begin to overflow. I have been strong in the Games because I had to, because I knew I couldn't let my emotions show.

But being here, back home, I can find no reason why I have to hide the tears.

XX

As both Peeta and I move forward, both still wrapped together, I hear Haymitch whisper quietly in my ear. "I know you have another boyfriend, sweetheart. I see you looking at him. But can you hold it off for a while? Until tonight?" he asks. I give a slight nod of my head, and I know he understands.

Peeta and I make it to the fence holding the crowd back, but we both know we can go no further. The urge is too strong.

I turn my head towards him, giving him what I hope is a pleasant kiss. I try to turn away from him like I'm in pain, but I think it comes out more like a scowl. I ignore that, though, because Prim and my mother are only a few yards away, and they're all that matter right now.

I don't think there has been a time in all my life where I've felt so much joy. Winning the Hunger Games, kissing Peeta, even coming home cannot compare to what I feel when I touch Prim. I wouldn't call it a touch, though, because I practically squeeze the life out of her when we embrace. Her arms are wrapped tight around my neck, never releasing their grip, and I am holding onto her for dear life. She if my one and only love in this world, and I can't recall ever loving her so much.

"Katniss! Katniss! Katniss!" she screams in my ear. I don't know how many times she says it, but I know I don't want her to stop. Her words are too much.

"Oh, Prim!" is all I manage to say. I'm bawling now, and I don't care at all that the whole world is watching. Prim's in my arms.

After almost fifteen minutes of hugging and kissing, we finally break apart. I hug my mother, and even though I am still crying tears of joy when I see her, I just want to hold Prim. I don't think I'll be able to let my sister go for years.

I turn back to Prim, looking her up and down before hugging her again. "You've grown," I say. I'm pleased, because this means she's eaten enough.

"And you've shrunk," she giggles. I laugh with her. "The baker's been feeding me, but I don't think anyone's been feeding you much."

"Oh, I've had my share," I say, and we both cry harder.

"I love you, Katniss."

"Oh, Prim, I love you so much." I pull her away just to look in her eyes. They're red and swollen. "Do you know what this means? We don't have to starve anymore! We can eat as much as we want! We'll be filthy rich!"

I hear a sob of joy and I look up to find my mother sharing our embrace. I put my arm around her, and I know this has to be the happiest she's ever been.

Being here, being in my mother and Prim's arms again, make the situation suddenly dawn on me harder than ever. I will never have to starve again. Prim can grow up in luxury, and my mother can go into a peaceful retirement. I cry harder than ever and feel Prim's arms pull me tighter.

There's a tap on my shoulder, and I try to shove it off. But it's persistent. It taps me so hard I'm sure a bruise will form. Finally, I give in and look over my shoulder. My breath leaves my lungs.

Before me is Gale, and I don't think I ever thought him more handsome than I do now. That's the first thought that hits me, and I'm surprised by it. Does this mean I truly do love Gale? Even if I'm sure I don't, I can't resist the temptation (despite Haymitch's warning) to jump into his waiting arms.

I'm so full of joy that it feels like I'm on drugs. Adrenaline is pumping in my veins, and I forget completely about the hell I've been through this past week. I hug Gale for a full minute, but I finally have to force myself to let go. Holding on any longer and I risk my reputation as Peeta's love. When I pull away from Gale, he tries to kiss me on the lips, but I quickly deflect it with my cheek.

"Not now," I whisper in his ear.

"Oh," he whispers back, "that's right. You're Lover Girl now."

I giggle to hide my pain, because that hurts me like no knife ever could. "How have you been?"

"Fine. And you?"

"Oh, just incredible. My weeks have been sunny and warm, I've been fed bountiful feasts, and I'm in the best condition of my life!"

"How wonderful!"

"And didn't I mention? I got to wear sparkly dresses!"

Then we both laugh so hard we have to cling to each other to keep from falling down. Gale must know I hated wearing those dresses, because he wouldn't be laughing otherwise.

_But you didn't hate those dresses, _a voice in my head whispers. _You really, really liked them…. You liked being beautiful._

I want to ask Gale if he thought I looked beautiful, but I bite my tongue. Somehow, I know that would be crossing the line. Even if the world couldn't see, it would be giving Gale false hope. I don't think I could do that to him. The laughter from both of us dies away slowly, and we stand there smiling stupidly at each other.

"What will I do without my hunting partner?" he asks, trying to keep the light mood. I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"You won't ever need a hunting partner," I say, "because you're going to have so much food you won't even know what to do with it."

He looks at me for a while, like he knew I was going to say something like that. Then, he says, "What if I don't want endless food? What if I liked to earn it myself?"

I look deeper in his eyes and find the truth of both of us reflected there.

"Then," I say, my voice barely audible, "I'll just have to earn it with you."

I want to kiss him. I want to do something to show that the past weeks have been lies. I want him to know, more than anything, that I still love him no matter what he sees or hears.

I'm about to tell him when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's Peeta, and he's smiling so brightly I immediately know what he knows: that the camera's are watching, and I'm losing everything we've worked for right in front of Panem.

**XX**

**I'd love a review! I'll update soon!**

**~Alien**


	2. Faking It

**Thanks so much to all the wonderful (mostly anonymous) reviews! I can't wait to get more! You guys are truly awesome. And don't be afraid to let me know if I've done anything wrong.**

**XX**

_Chapter Two, Faking for the Fans_

Even as I tell myself I won't cry, I can feel tears leaking down my cheeks. I wish all they would do was form a puddle at my feet. It would be so much easier to mop up than swollen eyes and stains on my face.

Haymitch's breath is on my neck, telling me to hold it in for now. I have to look happy, no matter what, when I'm with Peeta. Compared to Peeta, my home should not be important to me. No, not when I'm with Peeta, because Peeta's all that really matters now. He's all I'm supposed to care about. Not my home or sister, or even Gale. Especially Gale.

The thought makes me swell with anger. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from turning and running away right now. How can Haymitch expect me to look happy and in love when I'm leaving my home? I've already said goodbye to my family, already cried away my sadness last night. But all I want to do is jump from the train and run to Prim.

"Why not kiss him?" Haymitch whispers, waving happily to the cameras and District 12. "Get your mind off home."

"That _won't _help," I spit.

"Then try smiling for a minute." He grabs my wrist and squeezes it hard. I look up at the cameras, one hand in Peeta's and one in a pinch, and smile my brightest smile. I wish more than anything that I could spit, too.

"Katniss," Peeta says. It's the first time he's talked to me for hours, and my full attention is on his words. "Don't get mad, but I really think you need to play your part better. You know…act a bit happier."

My smile vanishes in an instant. "_What?"_

"It's just…the Capitol probably isn't believing your acting right now."

"_My _act? What happened to _your _act? Isn't this supposed to be _our _act?"

"You see, Katniss," Haymitch cuts in. "Peeta doesn't have to _play. _He's living the part."

It takes me a moment to realize what he means, but when I do I can feel my cheeks flush. I don't see why Haymitch has to pick on me just because I'm not in love with Peeta. There are times when I wonder if Peeta really is lying about it all.

I look over to see Peeta staring longingly at me, his cheeks pink but his eyes completely unabashed. He turns to stare at the floor, and I know that he has never told a lie in his life. He does love me.

Determined to prove to both of them that I can be just as convincing as anyone, I raise my head higher and smile again. Only a few seconds have passed, but I'm sure people have noticed our silence. I pull Peeta into a kiss, longer than usual, and smile at him. My stomach is full of butterflies, because I'm nervous about touring the districts. How long will I have to put this act up?

The doors to the train close, and I hear the driver call over the speakers. "We'll be in District 1 in about four hours."

I break away from Peeta, determined not to cry in front of him. When I'm finally alone, and no tears come, I realize just how determined I am not to cry in front of myself.

--

_District One_

is almost as beautiful as the Capitol. Here, I find no Seam or poor part of town. Every building is built tall and strong, every person covered in odd clothes and shimmering jewels. The people are excited to meet Peeta and me, but I can see the hate in some of their faces. We are the winners. To them, we were the ones that killed their children and friends. Even though I'm sure to apologize and mourn with them, I can tell none are convinced.

--

_District Two_

loathes Peeta and I more with each step we take into their district. They are beautiful people; it seems they are naturally born that way. I can't seem to take my eyes off of their faces, no matter how angry they seem. I feel small and ugly in comparison.

They all knew Cato and Clove had a great chance of winning. The entire nation of Panem knew that. I can sense them all asking questions about it. What chance did District 12 stand against District 2? I try to think of the answer myself, but every time I come to a conclusion it seems too simple. The Hunger Games were supposed to be about cunning and strength. I had made alliances, and I was cunning, but what had made me win out over Cato and Clove?

I'm afraid I will never know the answer.

When I'm coming out of the restroom before we leave, I see Cato's mother outside. As I walk past her, I hear the wind carry her voice in a 'Thank you.' I shudder all the way back to the train, because I have just remembered the last I saw of Cato's face.

--

_District Three and District Four_

are both rushed. We travel through both in only two days, and I assume it's because there were no important tributes here. They all either got blown to pieces in the beginning or died out quickly later on. I try to tell people that I really am sorry everyone had to die, but every time I get close I'm rushed away by an official. It seems an apology just reeks of rebellion.

--

_District Five_

cheers politely when Peeta and I make an appearance. Foxface's murder, it seems, was not our fault. I giggle a little when I see Peeta's shocked face, and laugh even more because I realize I haven't in a while. The Capitol will be getting suspicious soon.

I talk to Foxface's mother (I still have no idea what Foxface's real name is; I don't try and ask her mother, either, but instead pretend I know her name), and I find her to be one of the kindest women I've ever met. She hugs me and tells me thanks for winning, because she says she is quite sick of tributes winning on only strength. She says, right before we leave, that she never blamed Peeta for her daughter's murder. She whispers in Peeta's ear, "It was a good way for her to die, I think. Just think if she would have been there with the mutts…." She sulks away, and I pretend I haven't heard anything.

--

_District Six_

is full of dust and dryness. I try not to cough or rub my eyes too much, out of respect for the people, but it's harder than ever now. I keep remembering Prim. _Only five districts to go, _I say to myself.

--

_District Seven_

consists mainly of the weirdest people I've ever met. They are quiet and small, like weasels, and they all bow as Peeta and I walk down the steps of the train. They are jumpy and nervous people. I wonder if the Capitol almost destroyed them, too.

--

_District Eight_

makes no lasting impression on me. Their two tributes were destroyed in the very beginning, and I sense they hold no hostility towards District 12.

--

_District Nine and District Ten_

are two of the most Hunger Games devoted districts I could have ever imagined. In both districts, they have constant replays of all the Hunger Games in the town square, and the people are always talking about the events of different times. I never see any of myself or Peeta on the screen, though, and I wonder absently if the Capitol is making a point of trying to keep our faces off the minds of people as much as possible.

We are, after all, the rebels.

--

_District Eleven_

brings tears to my eyes before I even get there. I think of tiny Rue, of Prim again, and of Thresh, who without I would not have won. I cannot help but feel in debt to this District even more than my own. I make it a point of asking an official, before we arrive, if I'm aloud to help out Eleven as much as I can Twelve. He says that there is a limit of food and luxuries for my own district, which will last until the next reaping, and that it can be split between two districts. I tell him that I want him to send an urgent message to the Capitol, telling them that I want most of the food and luxuries to go to District Eleven. What is left in my own district isn't enough for a year, but Peeta and I are allowed an endless supply of food and money, and I am sure that I am allowed to give it to share in my district.

Rue's mother waits in the very front of the crowd. I know it's her because she resembles Rue in such likeness that I wonder how Rue could possibly fit her father in. Then I see him, and realize it at once; he is the smallest man I have ever seen.

Rue's mother hugs me and cries with me, and even though I can feel the camera listening I tell her anyways. "I put flowers on her," I whisper. "I braided them in her hair and s-sang her t-o sleep." I mumble more, but I can't go on because I'm trembling too hard.

"I could not have asked for her to die any better way," she whispers back. "Thank you so much, Katniss."

I kiss her on the cheek and say goodbye, because I know the officials will not let me near her again. I see Thresh's family and hug them all; I apologize over and over in each of their ears for not helping Thresh. They nod and say their thanks.

It seems like only minutes (although it's been over four days) that my time in District Eleven is over. I know I will never see this place again, and I know I will miss it almost as much as my own home.

Before Peeta and I board the train, I stand on the ledge of the crowd and speak as loud as I can manage. "Very soon, you will all be getting enough food and goods for you to all live in happiness for almost a year." The crowd gasps and screams in joy, and I try very hard not to break down. "This is for Rue and for Thresh, both of whom I would not be here without. When you wake up each day, please remember them. Please."

I turn to go, crying enough tears for everyone.

--

_Home_

I am filled with relief with the thought of home, but I can feel weariness seeping into my bones. The journey has not been fun at all. I want desperately to see home again, full of the people I love. They will all be well fed and happy tonight. The day I left was the first day of luxury.

I am on the way back to my compartment when I hear Haymitch talking to an official. "When do they stop filming?" Haymitch asks.

"There will be one picture taken when Peeta and Katniss step off the train. For the records, you know. Then that will be it until next year."

"No more cameras at all?" I can feel myself trembling.

"None."

I run as fast as my legs will take me to Peeta's compartment, but he's not there. I run into the bathroom hallway, about to pound on the door when Peeta opens it. I'm breathless, and he just stares at me with his eyebrows raised.

"Peeta!" I say, even though I already have his attention. "There are no more cameras when we get back! We don't have to lie anymore!"

I can see I've said the wrong thing, because even though this is joyous news to me, his eyes fall and begin to water. I have never seen Peeta cry, but I am sure I never want to.

"Peeta…," I stammer. "I-I didn't mean it."

"Don't be a liar, Katniss," he says. His voice is soft, as if it has been broken. He shuts the bathroom door and I can hear the lock click into place.

I lean my body against the wall. I feel as hollow as a shell.

"We can still be friends," I whisper to myself.

Tears begin to leak from my eyes, because I suddenly know that being friends isn't what I want.

I want to be in love.

**XX**

**Please review! Constructive criticism is appreciated!**

**~Alien**


	3. The End

**Ahh! Seventeen reviews! That's a lot for a small story. I love you all so much for reviewing! It really makes my day when someone is so kind as to review.**

**And no critique? I doubt my stories are perfect, but I wasn't expecting just praise! Please, please tell me what I can improve on.**

**Here's the last chapter. I've really enjoyed writing for the Hunger Games section, so maybe I'll do it again. Look forward to it, guys!**

**Oh, and for all who are (going to be) unhappy with this chapter, I'll take a vote and see if people want me to put in an alternate ending.**

**Hugs and kisses!**

**XX**

The feeling was constricting me.

The feeling that nothing else in the world mattered right now except love. The words I said to Peeta just moments ago have me breathless. I can't breathe, not because the wind was knocked out of me, but because I'm choosing to.

When I breathe, I can taste the love in the air.

And it hurts like nothing ever could.

I get to my feet with tears in my eyes, wishing the hurt to stop. I don't remember a pain like this. It's a deep sort of pain…. The kind that will leave you only when you accept it's there to stay.

I hold my fist up to the bathroom door, wishing for a moment that Peeta would come out without me having to knock. I don't think I have the strength to knock. It hurts just to breathe.

But Peeta doesn't come out, and I let my arm fall back down to my side. Standing there, I try my hardest not to focus on my thoughts. They are mainly about love, but the confusion is too much to deal with. I need a while to think.

I go to bed without any more thoughts about love…about Peeta. The last thing I think before I fall into a slumber is that Peeta is in love with me for a reason I will never see.

And that I have to find my reason before I see his.

XX

I wake up in the morning well past noon. The train is stopped, and I assume we're refueling. Rolling onto my side, I close my eyes again and try to sleep longer.

I try not to let myself think about anything that happened last night. My mind is still numb, but my thoughts are still there. Love is still there, and I want nothing more than to make it go away completely.

Falling asleep proves impossible, though, because the steady motion of the train was a comfort to me. It's gone now, though.

I get up and prepare a hot shower with plenty of incense. I turn the water to the highest temperature I can stand, trying to force my mind to focus on the pain instead. It doesn't work, so eventually I give up.

While I'm dressing, there's a knock at my door.

"Hey, we'll be there in an hour. Look pretty," Haymitch says. His words are slurred, and I wonder why he could possibly feel the need to drink when we are an hour from District 12.

After I'm finished dressing myself in a deep crimson top that cuts off at my shoulders and simple black pants, I try for a minute to put makeup on. There's a large selection of it in a drawer, and I feel the need to look nice for the last picture of Peeta and I.

After a few minutes of poking and prodding, however, it becomes clear that I have absolutely no idea how to put makeup on my face. So I instead settle for a bit of lipstick and a few red jewels below my eyes, since they're easy to figure out.

I sit on my bed for what feels like eternity, waiting for the train to jerk to a stop. I refuse to see Peeta before I have to. The love welling in my chest won't contain itself around him, I know. It's purring like a kitten just thinking of him.

When the train finally begins to slow, I force myself forward. When I see Peeta, I tell myself, I will force myself to stop. When my hand closes around his, I will force myself to cling lightly. And when we kiss for the cameras, I will force myself to remember Gale.

Because I can feel something else now.

I can feel Peeta, soft and light with eyes of warm sand, pulling at my heart with leaps of adrenaline and spikes of lust.

And I can feel Gale, with deepness so rough and ragged, holding my heart with warm hands. I can feel Gale so deeply it scares me; his consistent warmth haunts me.

I move out into the hall with caution on high alert.

XX

I can hear the camera flash in my face, but I don't register it. Peeta's lips are locked with mine, and the heat of his lips are lighting me on fire.

I feel his shock when I pull his head into mine. He is astonished at my passion; a passion he has been searching for for his whole life. I realize, absently, that this is what I have wanted my whole life as well.

This love.

This rush.

This kiss.

I wonder, for a moment, if the reason I know it now is because I'm finally safe. Safe from the Capitol, safe from hunger, safe from the Games. I'm safe at last, and the absence of danger is mind numbing.

Because I _lived _off danger.

"Peeta," I whisper into his ear, winded, "do not let go of my hand. No matter what."

His eyes are questioning, but he agrees. His grip tightens, and I know he's ready.

When we move forward, I forget the world, because all I want right now is Peeta.

The next few minutes pass by in a painful rush. I hug my mother and Prim, and I can feel their hurt when I finally push them away. I say goodbye and thanks to Haymitch and Effie, to the camera man who has let us see our picture, and I blankly meet the eyes of Gale.

My heart is as cold as stone when I meet his eyes.

Holding Peeta tighter, we both watch as the excitement moves away. The District is quiet, for the most part, and everyone begins to take notice of the storm overhead.

Charcoal black clouds are stationed overhead, with muffled booms of thunder shaking the air. People move into their homes, celebrating without care, and shaking their heads at Peeta and me.

Out in the storm.

Holding each other.

They think we have no reason or sense, but I tug Peeta forward and prove him otherwise.

We make our way to the fence. It's rusted over and bent, but otherwise unchanged from what I remember. I try to listen for the humming of electricity, but it's impossible to hear over the rain.

Because it's begun to pour now.

I don't have to tell Peeta twice. He follows me under the fence, his eyes just as set as mine. We're on a mission, together, and who's leading the mission is a mystery to the both of us.

XX

I'm pressed against a tree.

"I'm in love, Peeta," I say.

I'm pressed against his lips.

"I've always been in love, Katniss," he says back.

The lust in both of our eyes is pressing our hearts to the very edge.

I don't hesitate when I jump.

I'm idly aware of the rain freezing me to the bone, but I ignore it. My tears and sweat are disguised completely in the downpour, and I wouldn't ever wish for the rain to go away.

I can't remember a time when I've felt so alive. I'm screaming in protest, but the edge of it all is invigorating. It's so deeply painful, but I'm so deeply in love.

My heartbeats are rapid and agonizing, but I will them to keep going. Peeta is talking words that I can't hear, and I'm saying them right back. His lips are locked in mine at times I won't ever remember, like we're stuffing secrets down each other's throats.

We crash and collide in a mirage of joy and ecstasy.

I kiss him with passion, again and again, and I don't remember ever feeling this way.

It goes on and on, and I never want it to end.

I truly am the girl on fire.

XX

"_Rain, rain, go away,_

_You can never take her day._

_It's working, my little sun ray,_

_I didn't want to say_

_Because rain, rain_

_loves to stay_

_Today, today is his day."_

Peeta and I sing under the trees of mist. Idyllic rainbows arch their way over us, creating a spectrum of radiance. Our voices collide in imperfection, but I don't care anymore.

"_I live to sing, sing,_

_sing the rain away._

_He wants to take this day,_

_but I keep on saying_

_Don't cry, little sun ray_

_Not today_

_Not today._

_Today is your day,_

_and I want to say,_

_I want to say,_

_Rain, rain, go away,_

_you will never take her day."_

The song is eerie and cold. It clashes violently with the scene before us.

Peeta's voice is rough and low. He cannot sing to save his life, and I can hear the birds flittering away in protest. I don't say anything, but this bothers me deeply.

The song ends, but the echo stays. It's imprinted on the forest walls, and I suddenly don't want to see it.

The lust is gone.

I realize, while endless waves of pain wash over me, that I'm not in love with Peeta.

Our song never felt so cold.

XX

The birds have stopped to listen.

My heart has stopped to cry.

The song is soft and sickly sweet, but I know how it ends. I feel the tears leak from my eyes with painful force. Peeta has gone, but I almost feel his ears still listening.

"_Rain, rain, has come to stay,_

_to stop us from being this way_

_Break through the clouds,_

_my little sun ray_

_Make a wish_

_Give me your hand_

_We'll go down a hole to wonderland_

_Because without our song_

_you can't sing along_

_and the clouds can't ever be gone."_

The chilling melody is sharply broken by my sobs.

I have never known something so immoral.

I've broken the only important heart while being truthful to millions.

And to me, it can't get more wrong than that.

"_Please, please,_

_go away_

_You can't make me feel this way,_

_I've done my best_

_Done all the rest_

_I've put your clouds up to the test_

_You've won the battle_

_I've lost the way_

_I'll come again another day."_

Everything feels so wrong.

The lyrics are new and chilling, but I know the song so well. The place and time I knew it I can never say, but I know it isn't new today. The song is always the same as long as the melody stays true.

The voice is my favorite in the world, even though I've never heard it sing before. It's deep and rich, standing tipi-toe on the fine line between saccharine and unsettling.

I know this voice so well. I know every aspect of change in it. I know when it's mad or sad. I've whispered to it at night.

I have never known this voice so beautiful.

XX

When Gale steps down from his tree, I find my knees too weak to stand. His feet merely brush the leaves on the ground as he moves, ghostlike, across the space between us.

The only sound for miles is the sound of my tears.

"I followed you here," he whispers.

I forget, for a moment, what tears feel like. I think they're all used up.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper.

He kisses my forehead with trembling lips. I can feel the hurt in him, resonating around my head, and I can taste the bitter love again.

"I lied to you. I told you me and Peeta were a lie."

"You never lied to anyone."

I shake my head in shame. It's too hard to think.

"Yes," I say. "I said I loved him. I don't love him."

I don't think I would ever be able to explain it to him. How I showed him, through words and actions, that I didn't love Peeta. I told Gale that it was a hoax, and it would all be over soon.

I lied to him. And only a while ago, I lied to Peeta. I told him in a moment of euphoria that I was in love with him.

I was wrong. Inside, I knew it all along. I was in love with Gale, and Gale alone. What I felt with Peeta, I can never know. I just know now that I don't feel it anymore.

I'm in love with Gale. But how can I say that to him now?

Love isn't enough to undo what was done.

I say it anyways. "I'm in love with you, Gale."

He looks at me with eyes that I know are searching for the truth. The truth hurts the both of us.

"I know you do," he whispers. "But you can't."

The answer was nothing close to what I expected.

"Why?"

"Because you have a life to live out. You're supposed to be in love with Peeta, and even though the cameras have stopped rolling, there will be more years to come. You have to be in love."

I can feel my eyes begin to prickle. It only takes a moment for them to begin flowing.

Everything Gale says is true. I can't be in love with who I want to be, because it would risk the safety of everyone. I'll have to marry Peeta, love him, and be with him every second of every day.

Because we're star crossed lovers, and that's all that's keeping us alive.

"You made your own future, Katniss. From the very moment you called out Peeta's name, you became everything that shouldn't be."

The question still burned in my throat, no matter what he said. "Do you love me, Gale?"

"No," he says.

Because he must not give me hope.

Because he has to play along.

Because I made fate unbearable for both of us.

Because, right now and forever more, I belonged with Peeta.

I finally break down completely. I crumple to the forest floor and sob into the wet dirt. It smells like home, yet I have never felt so lost in my life. Everything I've looked forward to, everything I've always wanted, has just come crashing down.

My whole body trembles as I begin to rain.

I feel the weight of the earth sink besides me, because Gale's feet are no longer weightless. They are as heavy as titanium.

"_Rain, rain, go away,_

_You can never take her day._

_It's working, my little sun ray,_

_I didn't want to say_

_Because rain, rain_

_loves to stay_

_Today, today is his day._"

We do not touch. We do not look at each other. I rain harder as we sing together, and the birds stop to listen.

The whole forest stops to listen to the two most glorious voices in Panem.

"_I live to sing, sing,_

_sing the rain away._

_He wants to take this day,_

_but I keep on saying_

_Don't cry, little sun ray_

_Not today_

_Not today._

_Today is your day,_

_and I want to say,_

_I want to say,_

_Rain, rain, go away,_

_you will never take her day._"

The eerie chill of the song forever echo's in the forest.

I think it knew that it was the last time it would ever hear our voices together.

XX

**Oooh, the ending gave me chills!!! For those of you who need a quick little explanation:**

**Katniss had a heavy make out session (I'm going to call it that) with Peeta because she felt love, but didn't know who it was meant for. Gale saw, and told Katniss that they could never be together because she had to be with Peeta for the sake of her safety. So, Gale and Katniss are in love, but she must be with Peeta. Gale (who is a very good singer, apparently) and Katniss sang in the forest. The End.**

**The twist ending really surprised me, too, because I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do for this chapter. **

**I MIGHT make a sequel, about Katniss's life of pretending.**

**The songs are mine. I made them up completely, and I really surprised myself. They're not that bad! The meaning was perfect for the story, too.**

**Please review! It'll help the sequel!**

**-Alien**


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